Information Overload – 1st World Problems

The most striking thing I have noticed since returning to New Zealand is the amount of information there is to digest. I suppose I have been fortunate in that I quickly weed out the stuff I want to read, vs the stuff I don’t need to read. It also helps that since returning to NZ, I’ve largely been a “man of leisure” and focusing on looking after the house and my kids as my wife has slid back into the workforce here. I can say – it’s really hard to figure out what to cook for dinner, and hence I have a huge appreciation for the mum’s and dad’s out there that fulfill this role in their family unit. Looking after the pennies whilst I’m not formally engaged in employment is a priority, as is trying to make it easy for the family unit to reintegrate back into kiwi life.

So what does a “man of leisure” have the luxury of doing? Well – I do get to decide what we are having for dinner (I generally have to cook it too), I keep a reasonable house, and I can now keep up with the huge volume of information out there. I am dabbling in things that interest me, doing some mentoring, and helping friends without needing to schedule it into my previously busy schedule – although over the past 2 weeks I’ve lost time due to being a little bit too busy…. I am reading a lot of innovative and thought leadership articles, but I’m also discovering that there is a lot of “made up bullshit” out there, a…lot. I am reading a lot of LinkedIn articles and opinions, and honesty, the gullibility of some people just makes me shake my head. Quite obviously, people are making up or exaggerating “stories” just to get likes and shares – it’s sad that people do this, but this is the world we live in – so pragmatic..

I’ve also been really interested in both the PNG and NZ political landscapes with both countries having very contrasting elections this year. I find PNG politics to be fascinating, and this year social media played a huge part in some really dirty dirty politics. It also exposed some ballot box scams and put it all out there for the nation to see. I was very excited for people I grew to know, either by word, or personally, that really achieved in these elections. Amongst what people hear about corruption in PNG Politics etc – there are some astonishing nice people that just want to make a difference, lets hope they all can.

I’ve blogged. A lot. I have literally written pages and pages of blog posts, however have not published them all. I’ve listened to MY music, LOUD, all day! No one to stop me, no one to say “Dad, your music is sooooo old”… I’ve relaxed. I’m energised. I’ve read some novels. I’ve looked into new technologies. I’ve got my own seat and table at the local cafe! My new friends are retiree’s and cafe owners. I’ve gone to the kids schools more times than I can remember, the Principal and his PA at the local High School actually know who I am – we have a great relationship. I have reconnected with old colleagues, and I have built things. I have wireframed new apps that I want to develop, and I’ve even played some video games. Who has time for that when you work in a 24/7 job in a 24/7 country???

I tried fishing, but the weather hasn’t been right – but I have got all my gear ready to hit it as soon as the fishing gods allow. And I’ve been there for the kids, and my wife. Or at least I think so… They still think I am a grumpy old bugger, truth be told, I just want them out of the house so I can listen to Joe Walsh and Bob Seger – hahaha.

I’ve been able to reflect on the past 6 years in PNG, and use those reflections for me and the future. Sometimes, when you are busy just doing it, you never get a chance to look back or mentally celebrate your achievements.

One of the striking things that I have reflected on, was the amount of innovation we delivered in PNG. And that was set up by having a strong strategy, and brilliant team – we couldn’t have done it without each other. I often remark to friends, that the work you can do in PNG sometimes isn’t just about the company you work for, I believe that you can really make a difference to the entire country by the actions you take, and the ethos you bring. Certainly, my team are the future (if not already current) leaders of Papua New Guinea, albeit quietly achieving behind some of the fluff that is happening out there.

But it somewhat annoys me, that companies aren’t giving Papua New Guineans a fair crack. But then I see young men and women that fall into the trap of “I’ve got it, I’ve made it” and then proceed to stop learning, stop doing, and start sliding backwards. We often hear the words that Papua New Guineans aren’t capable – but they are. They just need good positive guidance and leadership – just like everyone else on this planet. They need to be empowered and trusted, and given the tools to make things happen, and then helped along a journey.

Which reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from Steve Jobs “The Journey is the Reward”

We need to show people that there isn’t an endgame, you need to be striving, learning, teaching, and creating a journey for yourself – not stopping at the summit, but looking up to the next.

It bloody well helps with a good internet connection 🙂

Surviving Carjacking’s in Port Moresby

Australian media have pounced on video footage from this week that was posted on one of the PNG Expat Facebook pages.

The footage is of an Australian family who were travelling down snake road in Sogeri, just out of Port Moresby.

YouTube Link here:

Basically, they were travelling by themselves, when a car overtook them dangerously, and then proceeded to pull up in front of them blocking the road. A bunch of armed rascals jumped out of the car and started running towards them. The super quick and sensible reactions of the driver really saved them from being victims (I’m in awe of his fantastic reversing skills). He reversed back up the road very quickly, past a vehicle that was following them. According to reports, the vehicle following them may have also been part of the carjacking attempt, however on some other Facebook pages a PNG local advised that it was her family in the second car, and they indeed ended up being the victims of the carjacking.

Really scary stuff and I so feel for both the expats and the locals who were targeted. Again, the actions of a very small minority paint PNG into such a bad light, it’s such a shame.

A lot of expats are very fortunate with the type of security briefing that they get on entering Papua New Guinea. All the big Oil and Gas companies, Banks, and Government/Overseas Agencies all have put a lot of effort into giving briefings, providing duress systems and generally trying to make PNG as safe a place as possible. Ultimately, this can be a bit detrimental to your movements, and can make life a little more constrained. The Security industry in PNG is very much a boom industry, however it is highly unlikely a security guard on minimum wage is going to put themselves in harms way if shit did go down. In fact, my experiences were that the Security Guards were either overpowered by armed rascals, or they cleared out as fast as they could run and hide. Of course, sometimes they are the criminal. It paints a poor picture, given that there are some very hardworking honest Security Guards that really were concerned for your safety and would do anything to make sure you were safe, and certainly Security Companies in PNG are becoming very professional.

Although I was responsible for the IT department, I also picked up a few other departments along the way including being the go to guy for our security until we hired a dedicated security manager this past year. With any new Expat I would sit down and give them a small security briefing. We didn’t use radio’s as much as we could have if we were all living together, but all our vehicles were equipped with tracking and duress systems. And yes, they did get used at various times. Cars involved in car accidents were the main culprit, and I would go out, sort out if there were any problems and make sure all was well – much to my wife’s dislike. I don’t know if it was my former military training (that was a long time ago), or just my kiwiness, but I was able to diffuse situations relatively quickly without creating extra conflict.

This recent PNG/Sogeri incident just highlights that you have to be prepared to do things that Security briefings tell you not to do. Security will advise to comply with demands, get everyone out of the car, and hand over your belongings if asked. I think you have to do whatever is right for the situation you are in. In this case, I would most likely have slapped my car into reverse as well. Although in saying that, at the point where the car originally passed – I would have put lots of distance between us by slowing down and observing, or just flooring the accelerator and passing them immediately. Being an aggressive driver in PNG is pretty important.

Above all though, is not to second guess your response. I found out last year when a groups of thugs attempted to carjack me, that doing “what if” scenarios was detrimental to my mental state of mind, and it didn’t help. What I figured out, was that the choices I made were exactly the right choices for me – I made peace with myself. And if that means you are robbed or carjacked, then you were very unlucky – eventually you will be able to deal with it, and you will get by. In general terms, carjackings in PNG very rarely end up with someone dead – although it has happened, so you need to be prepared for the horrible consequences of what may happen.

One of the things that we did as a family, was to use a lot of prevention. We varied our routines, we travelled different roads, we didn’t become too complacent. Some roads that we knew were a bit dodgy at night – we never travelled. We ALWAYS locked our doors and put windows up. And always had our car keys ready before we approached the car. One of my colleagues used to have his finger on the “lock” on the key fob, so that he didn’t have to try and hit the central locking on the door – he just had to beep his car locked again – a great idea and one that I was practising with before we left Port Moresby.

We also tried to travel in convoy where possible, even staying out later with friends so that we could all go home together. Even if we had the opportunity to carpool, we would still take multiple cars. Our kids understood what to do if we were carjacked, and we had drills that we practised with them – our youngest was always buckled in on the drivers side of the car, so that if we were by ourselves it would be easy to get her out of the car. We quickly ditched the very hard to put in/out car seats as soon as she was big enough for a booster..

Every place we parked, or every road we drove, we were always scanning our environment, ensuring we weren’t being tailed, ensuring the road ahead was clear. When turning into our compound, we always made sure the road was clear, we always tried to have an exit path just in case. We never jammed ourselves against a gate as this would be a prime opportunity for being carjacked, stuck in front of a slow opening gate with no where to go. Guards are there to protect the compound, so thier first reaction is to close the gate…

Of course – you can still do all that, and yet be in the wrong place at the wrong time (as I found out)

I also always carried a slim dummy (throw down) wallet that had money in it, but also a card with my company details on it (in both wallets). There is always a chance you can get your wallet back with it’s contents for a “fee”, so it’s important to make sure that there is something in there that identifies your company or your partners company, so the wantok network can do it’s thing and get your gear back to you.

And above all – talk to your PNG teams about your movements. Papua New Guineas know more about what is going on than any security alert I’ve ever had. I trusted my team implicitly and had the benefit of their advise on many occasions. It’s also great if you can take your teams out with you, not only do they enjoy it but it creates a great bond with your family and theirs – some of my fondest memories are of spending time out and about with my PNG wantoks.

The Media and Papua New Guinea

I read an article today from former AAP PNG correspondent Eoin Blackwell comparing Sydney’s road rage issues to be less stressful that “carjacking and murders in Papua New Guinea”.

PNG is a stressful place, not just for expats but locals as well. They don’t like being carjacked or murdered as much as anyone else… But it seems to be the typical media beat up of PNG, the “fear”, the sensationalism.

Here’s the link to the article:

At the end of the article, Eoin does point out that carjackings etc in PNG is borne out of poverty, that’s the “balance” so that he can write whatever he likes in the rest of the article.

And yes, I don’t disagree that being a victim of road rage is very stressful, and living in Port Moresby is also very stressful. But why the comparison? They have absolutely nothing in common. Why not have a title of “I felt safer in Port Moresby than Sydney”….? Why does every article about Port Moresby have to focus on Carjackings and Murders?

PNG has 1/3 of the population of Australia and 50% more population than New Zealand, but with substantially less resourcing in law and order, and yet the crime statistic’s for Australia and New Zealand are pretty damning. So lets not focus on Australia’s issues, but turn it into a PNG thing…

The other point I find I struggle with in Eoin’s article, is the Eoin was in PNG in 2011/2012/2013, and his road rage incident happened in Sydney when he still had a year of his 2 year stint to go. So that placed it 5 or 6 years ago – but the article with it’s “I asked my wife this morning” makes it sound like it all happened yesterday. It also flies in the face of the terrific parting article when Eoin was leaving PNG.

Look I don’t want to trivialise what could happen to you in PNG. I’ve got plenty of friends and framily (that’s friends that are family apparently) and friends of friends that have suffered greatly at the opportunistic crime that happens in Port Moresby (Myself included). But this constant bias of Australian media reporting crime in Moresby is pretty suffocating, and especially in the lead up to APEC 2018 and the opportunities that this will present to showcase PNG to the world. PNG doesn’t need all of Australia thinking it’s closest neighbour is a cesspool of rampant murders and carjackings – it needs to show how much PNG has progressed, especially in the past 5 years in economic development, investment opportunities, event management (the Pacific Games and FIFA Under 20 Women’s World Cup – and soon to be Rugby League World Cup), and economic growth. Other “tourist” hotspots around the pacific don’t seem to attract the same level of crime reporting – don’t want to scare the tourists now do we?

If I was a conspiracy theorist, I’d say that the Aussie Military presence both in PNG and Darwin, the level of funds in the guise of Australian Aid and the deals around Manus Island, isn’t so much for PNG’s benefit, but more to ensure that uncontrolled border between PNG and Indonesia has an Australian eye across it. Getting the Australian media to focus on crime and/or political instability in PNG gives the Australian Government a reason for funding “Aid Monies” into PNG and in return concessions on ensuring the safety of Australian mainland. PNG could be the new gateway to Asia, and it was no surprise to me when South Korean warships were in Port Moresby at a similar time as the FIFA U20 Womens WC was being held, featuring the eventual winners, North Korea. Just like WW2 featuring the Japanese offensive, PNG is in a significantly strategic position for Australia. Hmm – maybe I have just trivialised the Australian Aid program, and that’s quite unfair, I know a lot of people in DFAT and the ADF and other agencies who are doing a bloody sterling job and putting 100% into their time in PNG – PNG needs them, they make a hellova lot of difference.

OK – I’m not a conspiracy theorist, and maybe there is a bit of over-analysing there 😉

The other sensationalism in Eoin’s article is referring to the “mutiny” that occurred whilst he was in PNG. Mutiny? Really Eoin? Since 2011 how many Prime Ministers has Australia had? What happened in PNG was pure politics, a calculated bid for the top job that worked, and although I have no opinion to what happened to Sir Michael Somare, it was very evident that Peter O’Neill used political manoeuvring to gain power, and subsequently win the next 2 elections. I’d say that’s a lot more political stability than in many places around the world, but to call it mutiny is stretching it.

Can I also just say; that in fact, I felt at times safer in Port Moresby than many places I have travelled around the world. Not the least, safer than parts of Auckland. Auckland has a reputation for home invasion’s and burglaries, and some of the astronomical violence that we are experiencing in NZ with attacks on corner shops (dairies) beggars belief. Australia too, with unprovoked attacks on innocent people – I shake my head.

I always set out the intent of this blog to be as balanced a viewpoint as I possibly can on life in Port Moresby. I’ve never shied away from telling it as it is, but at least if you read my blog you will always see the good and the bad – I just wish the mainstream media could put a bit “more” balance in their articles as well…

The worst thing you can do in Papua New Guinea

Is not appreciate this incredible place…

I took my kids kayaking yesterday. We have rented a place in sunny Waipu Cove whilst we settle back into life in NZ and the magical spot we have gives us direct access to both the estuary and the beach. There is nothing like waking up to the sound of rolling surf onto the beach, I feel almost on holiday, every day. There is a Shag that perches in the branches of a Pohutakawa Tree right in front of the dining table, and less than a metre away a Tui drinks nectar from a flower. And then the crazy fantail drunkenly flies across from one side of the vista to the other. I really appreciate being back here and seeing NZ completely differently to when we left.

So one of the worst things that can happen to you in PNG, is not appreciating what is right there in front of you. Focusing too much on the negative, and not getting out there.

We had 30+ degree heat, and yet never took the kids kayaking. We could have begged and borrowed someone’s kayak, but honestly the thought of paddling in that heat would drive me to the bar in search of a cool SP.

In 2011, we took a crazy car trip up to Crystal Rapids. It was a real simple trip, 3 cars full of kids and parents all new to Port Moresby. Jacinta and the girls happened to talk to some old codger down at the Yachty who drew a map on a piece of tissue paper. Back in 2011, Google Maps didn’t cover the Sogeri area, and we really had no idea where we were heading, but he told the girls, you’ll be fine, just follow your nose.

I then checked directions with my team at work after seeing the scrap of paper, which had a Y on it, some writing indicating a High School and that was about it.

They gave me the general direction of where to go, and told me to be careful.

So – we all head off, the intrepid travellers, with beers and bbq and kids and togs/swimmers. A great wee convoy, off out past the airport towards 9Mile.

We get to 9Mile, and it was a Y type intersection (it’s now a roundabout). I thought that was a bit too soon, Crystal Rapids was quite a bit more of a distance. So, not deterred, I pulled over to ask for directions. I found out later, that we had pulled over at 9Mile Settlement, and as indicated in my previous post, a bit of a dodgy wee spot. Never mind… a lady came up to the window and indicated that we were to just keep driving, and so off we went again. Me, in the lead – cause I knew where I was going (ha ha).

We went past the turnoff to Bomana War Cemetery (we hadn’t visited there yet), and carried on to about 15Mile, having not seen a High School, I had to admit I was a little concerned I missed a turnoff. Not wanting to look panicked, I pulled over to the side of the road and asked on old man where Crystal Rapids was… naively… he only spoke Tok Pisin, which at that stage I could only say the basic’s. “Mi go bigpla wara, yu save?”… He pointed up the road “Tenk yu tru!” And off we went again…

Finally we get up the road, Sogeri High School..finally, and here is a Y intersection. Obviously this was the one drawn on the map, not the 9Mile turnoff. It had been raining, and here we were in my company car, a little Honda CR-V, but our convoy had a Navara and a Fortuner so even if we got stuck we had no worries.

Up the hill we went, the wee CR-V sliding around in the clay and bottoming out, it was great fun – and pretty cheap to gain entry to Crystal Rapids (I think it was about K20 per car).

Crystal Rapids is a great spot, the river runs around the picnic area like a big horseshoe, and on the downstream side is a series of rapids. The local boys were running across the rapids to the other side, and then diving into what must have been a very deep pool. Lots of fun for the kids to watch. Then a game of Touch Footy started on the edge of the river, it was a bit of a hybrid game as it appeared that if you got caught with the ball close to the rivers edge, you ended up getting thrown in the water.

As we were enjoying a BBQ and a few beers, we all heard a car revving as it was coming over the hill, it was a Toyota Camry, was basically no suspension, completely full with people. How they got that over there, I have no idea – but I can’t imagine how they were going to get it back…

Unfortunately our time was cut short as a bunch of drunkards arrived and decided they wanted our spot. We quickly decided to avoid any agro and just leave. Yes – it can ruin the weekend, but you get idiots everywhere in the world, and sometimes it’s just easier to go.

Heading back over to Sogeri Village, we all stopped to buy pineapple on the side of the road. You have not had pineapple until you have eaten Sogeri Pineapple, and then you will never what to eat “tinned” or store bought pineapple again. Simply delicious!

The view coming back from Sogeri (which is elevated up a valley) is magical. And the drive down is a lot quicker than the drive up.

I don’t think I really appreciated the magic of Sogeri until reflecting on that trip up there. It was a great day with new friends – I’m glad I bluffed the whole “I know where I am going” speech. And I’m glad the we got to appreciate a little bit of paradise just out of Moresby.

In search of Papuan Black Bass

My son Xavier said to me today “Dad, do you remember that time we went fishing with Uncle Troy?” This, after he just let rip in the backseat of the car, and we are winding windows down trying to evacuate the air…

The smell…

The reminder…

The worst fishing trip in the history of fishing trips.

My mate Troy (who should remain surname-less), Xavier and myself took up the offer to borrow our mates brothers river boat to head up to Galley Reach for the L&A Construction/Dekenai Black Bass comp. We should have said, no thanks, but we love our fishing, and there is nothing like spending a couple of days with your mate on the water, talking shit and teasing the youngster.

The week prior didn’t start too good, and maybe that was the sign we needed – but we chose to ignore it. Not only did we not have the basics, fuel, containers, net, a boat… But I had only been up “The Reach” once, and Troy hadn’t been for some 20+ years.

So – we got the boat sorted, mates brothers cousin had it all ready to go, and threw in a net for us. But – the connection was different from 4×4 to trailer. So, a half hour of mucking around and we had a number8 wire solution rigged up. Mates “cousin brother” (PNG Style) then assured us that everything was sweet, new bearings in the trailer, motor was working great etc etc. We even borrowed some fuel containers – so we were good to go!

Saturday morning, 4:30am – and we are off. Lines in at 6am and at least an hour and a half to “The Reach” and home creek where the boat ramp is. A pretty uneventual journey, however the road is potholed to all hell and back, and each village along the way had cut in a trench instead of judder bars to slow you down, which is fine when it is sunlight, but not so great when it is 5am and dark.

Driving without really remembering where the Home Creek ramp was, it was all a bit of a lets see where we got to, and then a couple of landmarks popped out and we were gaining on the dirt road turnoff.

And then we hit disaster #1. Troy turned into the dirt/mud road and then all of a sudden the truck bit in and we shuddered. Getting out of the truck, here was the trailer missing the inner turning wheel, axle in the mud, and back at the entrance the wheel lying there.

We grabbed the wheel, and as we were scratching our heads trying to figure out the next move, but who should appear, our mates cousin brother. He of “the bearings are new” fame. Of course, one look at the bearing in the trailer and he had been duped by some dodgy bastard that just repacked the existing buggered bearings.

The great thing about PNG is that either a local has a bush knife, or a long termer would have one too. So our bro eyed up a big bamboo in the bush, and 10 minutes later we had a sled made up under the axle and Troy is hammering the hell out of his Hilux up the rutted hill to get us to a flat patch and off the road. The bro, drives past and offers us his trailer so that we can put the boat onto it to get down to the creek – another km down the track. So after sorting our shit out, and saying hi to all the boys towing trailers to go fishing (tut tut – bad bearing boys) we eventually get the bro’s trailer and transfer the boat from one trailer to the other. No mean feat, that wee boat weighed a pretty penny. And contrary to what the bro told us “yeah mate, this bloody boat will fit on my trailer, she’ll be right mate” the bloody boat didn’t. Some more number8 wire, and the boat is going to the river stacked on it’s side in the worlds smallest boat trailer. No harm done, but the local families that live down the boat ramp must have thought that we were certifiably long long (crazy) dim dim’s (white men). Lucky my mate Troy speaks fluent tokpisin, the boys gave us a hand to get the boat in the water, hook the motor back on, and then a couple of them hightailed it up to look after the trailer for us for the day so no bugger steals it. Good lads.

We get on the water, finally, thankfully we can start fishing. Everyone else is already out there, having a laugh at our expense (except of course for a couple of blokes from Boroko Motors who were having a rather shitty (literally) time trying to get to Home Creek), and a few stray fisherman who were having a little lie in…

So, we push off, Troy goes to start the motor. Nogut! Em pinis. What the hell! Bloody motor wouldn’t start. Now, Troy could possibly pass as a pretty good kiwi with all the number8 wire fixes he’s been dishing out (I’ll give him the credit) – but he’s an Aussie, a PNG Aussie – so that helps a little bit more 😉 and a couple of minutes later he has figured out how to get the motor started. Just means we have to take the cover off each time to get it going. Meanwhile, our “Bro” is 30km up the Laloki whilst we muck around with a motor “that goes sweet mate, just had it running, no worries – you’ll be right mate”.

We are away, but the river system is dirty brown. This is the first comp of the season, and we’ve had a bit of rain. And listening in on the radio, it seems that no-one is catching anything. Of course, we are all targeting the legendary Papuan Black Bass, the meanest, toughest freshwater fish on the planet – and that’s no idle boast. People from all around the world travel to PNG to try and tick this one off their bucket list, and lots of them go home empty handed. If we are lucky, we might get a nice Barramundi (they grow BIG in PNG), or a nice Mangrove Jack. All three of those fish will bust backs, lines, and gear. Xavier had already caught himself a beauty Mangrove Jack a year beforehand around the 5kg mark so he would love even a little Black Bass, he was on ultra-light tackle too, a mean feat for an 11 year old catching that Jack.

We start traversing the river system, no livebaits as the teams that turned up on Friday used up all the Tilapia (and were hogging the rest). Trolling up the river systems, casting into nasty Black Bass territory, hitting the eddies, and then exploring into the unknown. Nothing.

We decided to head back early, get the boat sorted, and try and get the busted up trailer to Doa Haus (the clubs camp house) for repairs.

On the way back, we could see a large front bearing towards us. And before any of us could get rain jackets on, we had a wall of water hitting us. Visability was down to a boat length, and we weren’t keen to be banging into anything and falling out. We had already spotted a big crocodile in the water earlier in the day – none of us wanted to be dinner. Although truth be told, we only ever saw one croc, but we did hook a croc line with a big mean hook on it…

If you have ever been in a monsoon rain, you will know that it hits hard and leaves fast. What you normally don’t see, is that the force of the rain into the river bounces water up a foot. It’s hugely impressive, and you can see why some of these little river boats have auto bilges etc.

We finally get back to Home Creek, tie up the boat, and go get the Hilux. One of the old fella’s comes up apologising “Sori Boss!” Aww shit, what’s happened now? Apparently, some bush people came and broke into the back of the Hilux and tried to steal everything. But the local villiage boys ran them off and got our things back… Well, Troy and myself can smell bullshit faster than the bull can shit. The locals wanted some money for ensuing the safety of the truck and our stuff. Lesson learnt by us… No one has had gear pinched from there according to our mate, and the locals were having us on. They still got looked after anyway as we left the boat with them to look after, and would sort them out on Sunday when we were leaving as long as everything was looked after.

We take the bro’s trailer up to the busted trailer, and with the help of the boys looking after the trailer, we put one on top of the other and set off to Doa Haus.

A trip back to drop off the bro’s trailer before he got in and we were back at the Hauswin listening to the tales of woe, broken rods and blisters. Luckily, one of the Boroko lads had some bearings for the trailer, and declared that we were lucky buggers, but as he had the bearing, we had to replace it. With no idea, and under the guidance of “he who cracked the whip” and with a bit of help from some lads who never made it onto the water, but managed to water themselves, we got the busted bearing replaced, and the other side checked and cleaned and declared fit for the drive back.

A beer or two later, and our bro, he of “she’ll be right mate” fame turns up with a beauty of a Papuan Black Bass, and stories of the one that got away. A wry smile and a shake of his head over the boat, trailer and our tales of woe.

The great thing about Port Moresby, and PNG all over. Is the time sitting with mates, or mates of mates having a yarn, a beer or two, a good feed and a few more stories. Doa Haus and the fishing club boys make everyone feel at home, no matter how good you are, or how bad you are, we all pull the piss and had a great time.

With what we thought were our troubles now behind us, we decided on a 6am start. The boat was already at the ramp, we just needed to get the motor on and our gear in. So an early checkin to bed before the snorers hit the rooms (Doa Haus is very much communual mattress on the floor or a bunk – first in best dressed).

Sunday morning, and we are off again. First on the water and we try our luck at the rocks, a close by spot that catches a few fish, but no joy. We head on up one of the rivers where we got a little bit of action with some barracuda (some 15km inland), and then Xavier got absolutely smashed by some monster fish. We were fishing 15kg line (targeting Black Bass – you need it), and something tore through Xaviers line and a big bust off. It was either a big cuda, or one of our target fish. It made us pretty happy to finally have something happen, but sadly we lost one of our prized lures in the process. Lunch under a tree full of ants for the second day in a row had us swatting and ducking for cover, and then it was time to call it quits. Not before sliding to a stop on a sandbar and then finding out how many rocks there were at the Rocks when the tide is out. (We punted onto them to retrieve another wayward lure).

Getting back to Home Creek, you could rightly say we were buggered. Xavier had almost passed out at one stage as the heat on the water really sapped him, but a bit of a feed and plenty more fluids kept him going. The trick we found, was to put a “buff” into the chilly bin/esky and then put one around your neck and another under your hat. Really keeps the heat down. A bit of mozzie spray around your hat helps with the bugs. And of course, we are in long trousers and shirts, all lightweight fishing gear, beats the hell out of getting sunburnt…

We loaded up, sorted out the team at Home Creek and headed back to Moresby. The plan being we would be in Moresby by about 5:30pm before dusk. Oh how plans can change…

As we were cruising along, we started smelling something burning. Nasty burning. Poor Xavier in the back started covering his mouth, it was really not good. A few stops trying to ascertain what was wrong. Trailer was fine, truck not so much. We gradually limped to the Brown River bridge, and hoped like hell that it was clear – we weren’t stopping in the middle of nowhere, and things didn’t look too good.

Breaking down in some parts of PNG and Port Moresby could easily be a complete disaster, or bring a nice bunch of people to help. But now hitting 6pm and dusk, this is not normally the time for people that would normally help to be out – but the buggers that will take advantage of the situation. I could tell Troy was getting anxious, and I know I was too. But we also knew that our mate was still behind us, and if we got in the shit then he wouldn’t be too far away.

We finally got to 9 mile settlement, and at this stage, we are doing about 20km/hr – the diff feels like it’s gone, we’ve got grinding and crunching and a steady stream of smoke out the back. 9 mile settlement at 6:30pm is not a good place to be, but we limp past grateful that the Hilux is tough as. Just down the road, and our mate “beep beep” and a wave, roars past. “I wondered why you were going slow” he tells us later that week…

We make it back to Troy’s yard, and he reverses the Hilux, there is an almighty clunk, and that’s the end of that.

We shake our heads, never again. Fishing trip from hell… No real fish caught, a lot of money spent – but some great memories and something to laugh about over a beer or two.

Thankfully, we didn’t get the NAFA award. That went to the Boroko Motors boys that towed a boat all the way up the reach and never ever put it in the water.

And, if you have read this far. Our mate Ado, and his cousin brother Marco (the bro) – cheers boys. You may have thought your names were never going to make the story – hahaha.

#PNG Best of Times. #goodmemories