You know you are in Port Moresby when…

  1. you get 83mm of rain in an hour
  2. the freeway gained a 5 metre deep pothole – across all 4 lanes – overnight
  3. you can drive, over the speed limit, or way under the speed limit – and noone will do anything
  4. you can drink, and drink, and drink – then drive and have no fear of a DUI or DIC
  5. the first thing you do when you get in the car, is lock the doors
  6. there is no such thing as a pedestrian crossing at 8pm
  7. big rocks are for landscaping, small rocks for throwing
  8. your kids friends parents are your friends too
  9. the gun shop is more secure than Mt Eden prison, Alcatraz, and Fort Knox
  10. the local cafe is just as secure as the gun shop
  11. everyone smiles
  12. everyone plays with your kids
  13. the baby wanders off, and has been adopted, fed and watered by the family two tables down
  14. a shed is a 2mile settlement palace
  15. you get the best banana’s in the world
  16. and the best coffee
  17. you hoard the coffee to take back home, but end up drinking it cause it’s so damn good
  18. the duty free stores main seller: coffee
  19. the pharmacy will sell you any drug – as long as you know what you are talking about
  20. the pharmacy’s biggest sellers: malaria drugs, imodium, coke
  21. the perfect footwear is: jandals (thongs)
  22. you can buy a pair, from the buai seller
  23. along with – cigarette by the each
  24. buai (most likely a class C drug in NZ)
  25. the buai seller is also a mini bank and can transfer money to your phone
  26. mobile internet is cheaper than fixed line internet
  27. invitations to events can say: Dress – Tropical Formal, gents a tie please
  28. your conversations normally involve telling each other where you found a hidden gem (restaurant, clothes etc)
  29. you need to reserve tables at restaurants, or turn up right before 6pm
  30. dinner starts at 6pm
  31. the sun sets around 6pm and rises about 6am
  32. the best photograph is the last one you took
  33. the most used appliance is a UPS
  34. everyone knows what a genset is
  35. when your genset is buggerup, people have sympathy
  36. your kids learn to swim – really quickly
  37. it’s cheaper to fly to Fiji via Brisbane – than direct (yes -we have direct flights)
  38. everyday makes you smile, laugh, cringe, be sad
  39. you can buy any sort of animal on the side of the road
  40. you can buy fruit and vegetables on the side of the road too
  41. the grocery store visit is a highlight of the week
  42. the bugs are 10x bigger than the ones at home
  43. if you don’t seal it, the bugs steal it
  44. there is no McDonalds, or KFC or Pizza Hut – and you are thankful
  45. the coke factory and the beer factory – are right across the road from each other
  46. the only beer to drink is: SP
  47. you have never been so social in your life
  48. the local TV station shows pirated movies, half of which are screen cams
  49. you can buy designer clothes for a couple of bucks
  50. you appreciate … everything.


6 thoughts on “You know you are in Port Moresby when…

  1. Haha great reading! Once i get settled in over there I might have to take you up on the yacht club offer Aaron. I arrive there at 4.30pm.
    Talk soon

  2. Great read Aaron..I’ve just accepted a teaching job starting in July…Good to finally stumble across something real to thanks!

  3. Can’t wait to experience it for real! Your blog and Jacintha’s are really useful and humorous – thanks ! How well do you know the yacht club – we’re looking at living on board a yacht down there – are the facilities good, and is it very noisy – traffic/industry wise? Our kids are similar ages to your older ones – how do find schooling – are they getting a good education? is it creative like NZ or quite structured or a bit of both? So glad you guys are enjoying PM so much!! Look forward to meeting you…Jose

    • Hey Jose – I would live on a yacht at RPYC if I didn’t have a 2yo 🙂 You mind get trapped into sitting in the bar too much though!! It’s quite quiet and peaceful down there, the berths are surrounded by apartments.
      Schooling here isn’t as good as NZ – but the kids have a much more varied curriculum. We have pretty clever kids – so they do a lot of self directed learning at home (lots of reading). The school is great though – and the kids do enjoy it.
      Take care – will see you soon 🙂


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