So,

You want to be an expat, you look around and you find PNG, more specifically – you find Port Moresby.  Then you find a couple of websites like www.lonelyplanet.com, www.expatblog.com, and mine of course www.kiwiexpat.com you check out wikipedia and find that Port Moresby has a climate where it barely gets below 24 degrees (and thats when everyone gets hypothermia), and also that it is ranked by the Intelligence Unit of The Economist, as one of the world’s least livable cities (ranked 137 of 140 cities rated).

At this stage, you starting hunting around for the bad shit – as you do. And you see reports of sorcery, violence, rapes and murders.  You find out that expats live in secure compounds surrounded by razor wire, with 24 hour guards – and by all reports, you can’t drive anywhere without putting yourself in harms way.

And you either now decide “stuff that” or “sounds like a bit of a beat up” or “woohoo” or “what a load of bollocks – where is the real PNG”….

Then you post on a forum or two, completely ignoring the links to blogs or other posts, and if you are concerned – you regurgitate the same thing everyone wants to know.  Is Port Moresby a dangerous place?  Should I live there? ????????

Here is my advice if you are thinking about coming to PNG (Port Moresby)

1. Research research research – you will find, the bad shit isn’t actually that bad.  We don’t get burgled in our homes (not often anyway – the security for our house is better than a bank in NZ), murders are generally payback (an eye for an eye), and unfortunately  the bad shit normally happens to local Papua New Guineans.  You will also find (when you research), what the tax rates are, how much it costs to live here, and what there is to do once you get here.
2. Realise, that locals are (and should be) first in line for jobs.  If you come up here as a sales person in a store – you are taking a job away from a local, and increasing the cost of goods and services with your over-inflated package.  This just adds to poverty.  If you want to come here, please come with an attitude of wanting to help PNG.  Since I am an IT Manager, I often get emails from out of work software developers or IT administrators wanting to move to PNG, don’t even try….  IT is one place where we only need mentors to provide experience to Papua New Guineans, a lot of our graduates are struggling to find work.
3. Become a mentor, give freely of your mind, time and experiences.
4. Embrace PNG
5. Share your adventure with the rest of the world, everyone reads about the shit side of PNG  not the good.  Spread the word!  PNG is one of the most amazing places on earth – it’s time the rest of the earth knew about it.

And if you want to ask questions, please get in contact 🙂

Aaron

Last week we had a bit of a security scare here in Port Moresby.  A senior executive at bemobile had been kidnapped and was being held for ransom.

Of course, with the freeway cut in two, traffic at a standstill, and lots of people around – there is lot of opportunity for the odd carjacking etc.  So of course, everyone is on high alert, radios getting checked, safe routes through town being devised, and general caution.  All of which – you should be doing around Moresby anyway, and if you don’t – then you are a target waiting to happen.

Port Moresby isn’t a bad city – it’s poverty and opportunistic thievery that create the issues we have here.  So, keep your doors locked, windows up and generally know what you are doing – and you should be fine.

Anyway – back to our bemobile guy.  What a horrible thing to have happen, and even whilst we were making sure we were being secure, we were all thinking of this poor fella.

but wait…

A headliner in the paper the other day:

Englishman nabbed over K1.7m ransom

turns out that the bemobile executive had tried to ransom himself for K1.7m – wtf?!  This guys caused a hellova lot of stress…  unreal.

So yes folks, a certain englishman kidnapped himself, plonked himself at 17 mile, and tried to extort 1.7 million Kina (about a million NZD) out of his employer.

they don’t call it “Land of the Unexpected” for nothing 🙂

1. you get 83mm of rain in an hour
2. the freeway gained a 5 metre deep pothole – across all 4 lanes – overnight
3. you can drive, over the speed limit, or way under the speed limit – and noone will do anything
4. you can drink, and drink, and drink – then drive and have no fear of a DUI or DIC
5. the first thing you do when you get in the car, is lock the doors
6. there is no such thing as a pedestrian crossing at 8pm
7. big rocks are for landscaping, small rocks for throwing
8. your kids friends parents are your friends too
9. the gun shop is more secure than Mt Eden prison, Alcatraz, and Fort Knox
10. the local cafe is just as secure as the gun shop
11. everyone smiles
12. everyone plays with your kids
13. the baby wanders off, and has been adopted, fed and watered by the family two tables down
14. a shed is a 2mile settlement palace
15. you get the best banana’s in the world
16. and the best coffee
17. you hoard the coffee to take back home, but end up drinking it cause it’s so damn good
18. the duty free stores main seller: coffee
19. the pharmacy will sell you any drug – as long as you know what you are talking about
20. the pharmacy’s biggest sellers: malaria drugs, imodium, coke
21. the perfect footwear is: jandals (thongs)
22. you can buy a pair, from the buai seller
23. along with – cigarette by the each
24. buai (most likely a class C drug in NZ)
25. the buai seller is also a mini bank and can transfer money to your phone
26. mobile internet is cheaper than fixed line internet
27. invitations to events can say: Dress – Tropical Formal, gents a tie please
28. your conversations normally involve telling each other where you found a hidden gem (restaurant, clothes etc)
29. you need to reserve tables at restaurants, or turn up right before 6pm
30. dinner starts at 6pm
31. the sun sets around 6pm and rises about 6am
32. the best photograph is the last one you took
33. the most used appliance is a UPS
34. everyone knows what a genset is
35. when your genset is buggerup, people have sympathy
36. your kids learn to swim – really quickly
37. it’s cheaper to fly to Fiji via Brisbane – than direct (yes -we have direct flights)
38. everyday makes you smile, laugh, cringe, be sad
39. you can buy any sort of animal on the side of the road
40. you can buy fruit and vegetables on the side of the road too
41. the grocery store visit is a highlight of the week
42. the bugs are 10x bigger than the ones at home
43. if you don’t seal it, the bugs steal it
44. there is no McDonalds, or KFC or Pizza Hut – and you are thankful
45. the coke factory and the beer factory – are right across the road from each other
46. the only beer to drink is: SP
47. you have never been so social in your life
48. the local TV station shows pirated movies, half of which are screen cams
49. you can buy designer clothes for a couple of bucks
50. you appreciate … everything.

🙂